Before leaving for school, I was given several roommates because problems arose. Obviously this made me nervous because I was able to bond with my first roommate, then I was worried about actually living with my second roommate. But when I was assigned my last roommate I was relieved to see we had a couple things in common. I previously wrote about my first week at school, so if you read it you now that my roommate and I didnt hit off at first. But since I didnt know anyone else I decided to hangout with her. True the first two months were great and we were having a blast, but I later learned that I shouldnt have been friends with my roommate. You know the saying about being friends with someone but not being able to live with them? Yeah that applied to me.
There came to a point when I realized that she was "fake". She started hangout out with other people and im not saying im mad at her for that I actually applaud her. But the thing that got to me was that she totally forgot about me. She would hang with them instead and would rub it in my face that she would go out and party with them. Going back to her being fake, she was a poser. I noticed that she acted differently with them then how she did with me. Later when she got into fights with them she would come crawling back to me. She would agree with everything I said even if she disagreed about it first. ie. Roommate: Eww who would possibly wear that? Me: I think it looks nice actually. Roommate: Oh yeah youre right.
Obviously I got tired of this but this is where I made my mistake. I kept on being her friend. I even let her room with me next year with another friend (terrible terrible mistake andrea). She was a good person but she was a horrible roommate. She would come back to the room (loudly) at 3,4,5 in the morning and not appoligize if she woke me up. She would stay up every single night till past 1 in the morning typing loudly on her laptop , and I knowwww she was not doing work. She would never clean the room! Her shoes were allover the floor and I just let her do it. I shouldve stood up for myself but I didnt. So yes it is my fault but I have learned from it.
To those who are iffy about roommates, here is some advice.
- set some ground rules. seriously, if you dont establish them at the beginning they wont be accepting of them later on in the year.
- speak up! let them know if something they are doing is bothering you so that you dont have to suffer the rest of the year. In some cases they dont realize that what they are doing is bothering you so let them know.
- talk to your RA if its truly not working out. Dont suffer the whole year just because your rooming situation sucks. This will take away from having a positive college experience.
- dont try to cling to cling to your roommate if they are your only friend. i know its hard to make friends and im not saying to not be their friend, but just in case if things dont workout down the road try try try to branch out to people who truly get you.
Roommates are never easy but the important thing is to speak up if something is bothering you and possibly look for a new roommate if the one you have is toxic. Dont worry things will get better but dont let this take away from your first year!
warm thoughts ~ andrea :)
p.s. - here is a great website to checkout! hercampus
